- sing songs while you walk
- dance in a crowd even if you don't have a partner
- fall to the ground when laughing hysterically
- protest for things your believe in
- wear goodwill christmas sweaters even when it isn't christmas
- give good friends tchotchkes at random
- collect the fallen buckeyes on the street and shark teeth on the beach
- pretend everyday is a movie
- confess for yourself
- go to thrift stores and find fun trinkets
- stop to feel the wind blow
- think of your pet as your alter ego
- let sadness and emotional ruts grow tiring
- observe your surrounding to the tiniest detail
- walk in the rain without an umbrella
__________________________________________________________________
alright. so that was the the list.
i seem to have a habit of making lists out of every thought i encounter
they're almost like rules that i live by
so i think by and by,
when i think of things to add to it,
here they will be
in that weird blue font.
so its the change of seasons
which equals allergy season
which means,
for me,
migraine season.
for any of you who have never had a migraine,
there is nothing on in this world that can describe the feeling when you suffer from them.
they are terrible forms of headaches,
that make you feel as though someone is slowly ripping open your head.
nice right?
they're absolutely debilitating.
usually,
the first sign of one coming on is when i start to see auras.
which, in turn,
mean that these
spotty,
fluctuating,
trippy
blinding
clouds will flood my vision.
sometimes it blocks out certain letters in text,
or erase a stair in a flight of steps.
and that usually lasts for an hour.
then they disappear
which means the pain is surely on its way.
when i get them in the school year,
i usually get them as soon as i get up to go.
and when i feel it coming,
i have to pop 5 pills,
and sleep for at least 5-7 hours to feel maybe 60 to 70 % better.
and when i get one,
i will get another two to three within the next few days.
which means i take off the morning from school.
i hate them
i sometimes feel like i'm dying
and that it'll ruin my future.
after the bout of 'natural' migraines,
then comes the 'withdrawal' migraines
that come from not being on meds.
so in total, i will usually miss about 5 mornings of academics
equalling 15 classes,
meaning that i need to make up 20 hours of academic studies, work, and tests.
and with only 15 minutes to use for tutorials with teachers every morning
its really hard to figure out a good schedule.
plus i don't get an excused absence,
seeing as i don't need to go the hospital,
but rather just to hide away in a dark quiet place for a few hours.
and migraines are so easy to trigger.
florescent lights KILL me, and probably the easiest thing to start the migraines,
dehydration
flashing lights
non regulated sleep schedule
stress
strong patterns
too much caffeine or not enough
must i go on?
its junior year,
too many tests
too much homework
and not enough time for me to make up for it.
it sucks.
it really does.
gorsh this post is gonna be long. stop reading if your bored. if not, i love you.
i wish i could spend my life doing things i love
i wish i didn't need to attend school to reach them
i wish i was in school to learn about the things i love
i wish i could spend my days
painting with water colors,
coral gardening in fiji,
singing my favorite songs,
typing away,
reading good novels,
racking leaves,
dancing to loud music,
drawing on my hands,
cutting peoples hair,
making jewelry out of macaroni,
taking naps on fluffy beds,
kart-wheeling in the grass,
talking to my thoughts,
singing and dancing along to records,
and finding bigfoot.
__________________________________________________________________
i decided that with every post would accompany a PICTURE OF THE DAY.
one of the best records i own
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