Skinned Knees & Plum Blossoms

happy thanksgiving!
currently,
i'm sitting at my grandmother's,
waiting for dinner!
holidays are so much fun,
i get to have dinner with all of my family.
and right now,
i'm watching 
castle of cagliostro.
a very early done movie by studio ghibli.


so my job shadow was perfect.
it makes me further want to become a teacher.


oh and a new hope in my future,
"to own a club called 'the pothole"
we'd play amazing disco, soul, and other 60s, 70s, and 80s wonders.


lately,
i've been a good reading mood.
i just finished a book called
Fire.
very well written.
now i'm looking for a book called
the glass swallow.
it's written by julia golding,
and i loved her book
dragonfly.
i wish i had more time to read.
i'm assigned to read a lot of bad books in english.
i have to cram to read and finish 
catcher in the rye.
if the book was a person,
we surely wouldn't get along.


eee!
black friday shopping tonight! 
10:30 pm to 10 am! 
all night!


aloe heals burns
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Picture of the Day

i can't stop singing tunes from this

Traffic & Silence

i'm seriously falling behind on this. 
sorry!


okay so for the past few days,
it's been silent in my head. 
but for some reason,
it's not entirely a good thing.
and i can't really explain why.
it's just a gut feeling.


i always love meeting new people,
and this weekend i got to do just that.
and some how, 
a strange 
"fling" 
came out of it.
but it was short.
short and not meant to last.
it's definitely a strange outcome,
to not even have a name to the face.
but for the next few days,
it will just be poking at me 
and poking me. 
i just have to let it go. 


siigghhhhhh.
i hate those weird moments where 
you feel suddenly in need of relationship.
but that doesn't happen to me often.
because i firmly believe that i'm fine by myself. 
relationships are a second hand option for me.


i've been getting into 
researching colleges lately.
so far,
i'm looking into
georgetown u.
fordham u.
manhattan u.
and 
george washington u.
and i want to teach.
just not sure what yet.
primarily english.
but i'm interested in journalism
and philosophy too. 
so hopefully i'll be able to look into those too. 


wet bandaids. 
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Picture of the Day

oh yeah, 

Mister Rogers.

I was on one episode with my mom and sister.

it was about helping,

specifically chores (i think)

Quilts & Coin Jars

alright. 
it's time to do 
a real post for once.


so i took the day off today.
my head has been pounding all throughout the weekend. 
i just want this all to stop.
i feel like two different people
when it comes to school days
and weekends.
if that makes any sense.


lately,
my mind is no where near where it should be.
falling out of the universe.
i should be thinking about my schoolwork,
my junior year,
my expectations to succeed. 
but frankly,
all of that is far 
far
far 
away.
all thinks useful have become
chatter.
my thoughts are not straightened out,
not finished,
incomplete.
they come in sparks,
and once they're triggered,
it's really hard to find a proper distraction. 
usually i have to find 
a book
or website
in which i just take random notes from 
and write them down in my journal.
last night,
i spend nearly 3 hours
just picking up notes from
a website.
it's tiring.
but it helps.


some day's i have really high highs.
and others i have really low lows.
and sometimes its hourly. 
it all just depends on the trigger
and if i can find the right distraction.


trigger chatter distraction.


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Picture of the Day

a few years back,

my family visited Chichen Itza 

the mayan temples in

riviera maya, mexico.

and this was a 180 ft deep sink hole that

tourists were allowed to swim in.

it was the prettiest thing i've ever seen. 

there were little red and black fish that swam in it too.

it was really scary at the same time. 

Notes & Ink

today i found the 
gestalt prayer:


i do my thing and you do your thing.
i am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine. 
you are you, and i am i, and if by chance we find each other,
it's beautiful,
if not, it can't be helped. 

Radio Frequency & Twine

the chatter has gotten worse.
and lately, 
i could use all the distraction in the world. 

Hums & Violin

right now
i'm listening to
the 
les miserables 25th anniversary show.
i am in love with it.


today was a good day.
day 1's are always good days at school.
i've been falling out of the universe a lot lately.
aka
daydreaming.
i'm okay.
i'm always okay.


i wish it wasn't cold
or winter.
my feet are always so cold
and i hate bundling up.
stupid seasons.
i want my summer back
so that i can feel the grass beneath my feet again.
but with winter comes baking.
it's easier to bake in the winter.
time to crack out those
creme brulees
fruit tarts
madeleines. 
what should i try making this year?


it doesn't feel like thursday.
i was re-reading 
my last post
and realized how 
easily misunderstood it can be.
i'm not sad.
i'm not freaking out.
i mean maybe a bit freaking out.
maybe its more of a madness.
madness and sadness are two very different things.
my madness is just my mind going hay-wire. 
but its just school.
thats it.
otherwise 
i'm alright with everything.
especially with friends.
lately,
there's been a lot
of harmony in my social life.


i decided i want
to go to college
for english education
and a minor in journalism.
i want to teach english in foreign countries
or become a teacher here.
because i want to be a better
teacher than the ones i've had and have.
like mrs. hustwit.


for a long time,
i was told that i would make a great therapist.
yeah
i guess i would,
but every therapist needs a therapist,
and i would just lose my sanity.
but i love listening to others.
you all make me happy. 


thanks friends 
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Picture of the Day

Even if you hurt the feelings of others 

you must be able to accept that pain.

so cherish what you really want

and run to the sky

Noise & Leather Boots

so right now,
i am listening to the record
"Art of Noise".
its a great one.
very techno 
but good techno
not like bad modern techno.


lately,
i've been 
feeling completely
detached from the world that surrounds me.
i laugh along with my friends,
i work hard on my classwork,
i sit and listen to my teacher's words.
but i feel as though
i'm a ghost
that's just there.
looking in on the world.
no influence,
no feeling toward anything. 
i'm probably losing my mind.
most likely.
my scribbles in my notebook 
are becoming even more 
insane 
sporadic 
and angsty.
i wish i could be in school 
studying things i actually want to learn.
i want to learn about 
the english language,
religion,
human behavior,
art,
society,
myself.
why has society become such a 
"live-for-yourself" prospect?
i've always firmly believed that
self discovery is 
one of the most important principles in life.
so why do we not get the time for it?
instead,
numbers
essays
and problems
are smashed into our minds,
and made to calculate.


i'm bored with it.
it's time to wander. 
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Picture of the Day

this is on my christmas list.

a latex horse mask

off ebay.

i'm getting it,

whose walking around 

southside with me wearing it?